The Implicit Message: Is Pain Trying to Teach Me Something?

I keep waiting for someone, anyone to figure it out. Why is the pain nagging? Why can’t I sleep through the night? What is my body trying to teach me?

Is there something that I need to learn?

But

this is the question that I verbalize most often: What am I missing?

Healing From Chronic Issues

I have been on a pain-self-discovery journey for a long time.

It took me a while to get to point to this train of thought—If the body had words what would the pain say to me?

Is this type of thinking foreign to you? Because, when I started my health and wellness journey, it was to me!

An idea that is implied in society: “Bodies aren’t sick because of emotional issues, it just because of disease.” This is a common way of thinking.

As I started reading books that were recommended by a mentor I found truth within the reading.

This is list of books that started me down the path of emotion discovery:

• Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol Truman
• The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson
• You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

More Information About Emotion

Think about a typical day with emotion. Emotion usually show up in the form of joy and light-filled filings OR a type of fear, possibly anger, hatred or rage. These feelings can be triggered by different things. A child’s smile can make someone happy. Someone that swerves in front of you, cutting you off in cut-throat traffic, can trigger a different emotion.

Most often we rely on the brain patterning received from family cluster ideologies, as we respond with certain emotions, as we move through the events of the day.

So here’s a question: Was crying allowed in your family (or with your caretaker) if you were afraid?

What if crying was allowed after feeling pain? Do you ever remember feeling any relief as you were releasing tears?

How were you responded to as a child when you cried?

Were you told to hold it in?

Were you ignored?

Were you pulled down the hall to be put in your room?

OR

Where you allowed to give that feeling a name?

Most of us were not aware of the last option, nor do we have the vocabulary to know how to explain what our pain needed.

If our sadness and hurt was never let out, where is it sitting now?

These thoughts bring me to the work I am doing. I’ve been working on vocabulary and learning to name feelings for many years now. Reading a variety of books has helped me expand my vocabulary.

Therapy has been a key. Another nudge, I have had, is to name what is happening inside of me.

The feelings stuck deep down in the lower part of my gut do not have a name and I have not been allowing them outside of me.

This has resulted in my story—my body is responding as it signals pain.

More Details

I started listening to my body about six years ago. I think the body had something to say, a message it was trying to relay to me. AND this is why I keep asking it direct questions.

What a challenge my body has given to me to uncover!

It has been sort of like a game, with some bizarre hidden mystery. I would love it to speak more truth! Body, what is the true cause of my pain?

But what if the truth is so buried that I can’t control it? What even is the definition of control?

• the power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events…

• the power to restrain something, especially one’s own emotions or actions.

• take into account…when performing an experiment.

• …limiting or regulating something.²

In my healing I can see that what ever is off, or misaligned in my body (I only have the assumption that something is off or misaligned, because I can feel something is not right) is this dichotomy, two strong pulls of understanding. Number one verses number two.

So…what am I missing?

For ten years I’ve been on a path of discovery. The path looks different now than it did then. At first I wanted a reason, a diagnosis and a next-step plan.

And now, I just want freedom.

My conclusion today is: I believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I feel like I’ve been directed to learn what I have been studying. The resources that I choose to share, ultimately I believe I was guided to them.

So is it God’s will that I am this way? And, why am I still in physical pain?

My prayer that continues…

I would like to explain what the Implicit Message (the title of this blog post) is. I believe because that my body is signaling pain that it is sending messages to me.

the definition of Implicit:
implied though not plainly expressed
essentially or very closely connected with; always to be found in

So how can I put the physical messages to words? I would like to question the pain’s motive.

Next Question

If the body does not have words, but I have other humans, or a higher being that I can speak to—how can I create those words for MY body, so that I can communicate it’s feelings with others?

How can I put those words into a question?

I have found this true in my journey; when a question is asked, the question will be answered.

This is often how I structure my prayer:

God or Inner-being, I feel it deep inside my soul that something is not sitting right with me.  Will you show me in your way, and what I need to learn, that I may be more aligned?  I believe that there are people or dreams or angels that are here to help me, teach me, and guide me.

Recently, after I finish my prayer, as I lay on the ground, deep breathing, this spiritual whispering entered my mind: “Become as a child.” It is an idea that links to Christ used in New Testament teachings in the Bible.

As I pray and deep breath, everyday I’m getting consistent feelings repeated again…become as a child. These are a few of things that I have done this week to follow that feeling.

• Wednesday: I went to the store and bought a pet fish
• Thursday: I went to the park to swing
• Friday: I went swimming with a friend
• Saturday: I went swimming again and jumped off of a diving board
• Sunday: I picked raspberries and shared them with my family

For More Resources on How to Learn or Connect With Your Inner-Child, Click Here

Self Care – Self Love

I’ve had this position to care for myself as a mother would care for a child. I have been implementing it for a few weeks. Here are a few other things I have done.

• Eat meals at meal time, (even-though I have to prepare them for myself).
• Have a snack time—I even snack as I’m making dinner (this is the time that a child usually is hungry).
• Drink juice or juice boxes throughout the day.
• Accept that I can cry when I need to. I recognize how loose my body feels after I cry.

All of these have been crucial to keep me active and functional. (I currently am a part-time working mom fitting in weekly appointments at the chiropractor or other alternative therapies.)

As I write these things I hope it will give somebody a piece of courage to you to try something new or give your self permission to let your spiritual nature teach you about the Divine. I believe that practitioners have been sent to guide me and teach me as I am healing, but when I really make headway in my healing journey is when I can recover the things that feel natural for me—those things I did as a child.

Questions and Reflection

The following, is a quote from a book I am currently reading. It talks about feeling into what our body is trying to imply by sending us stress reaction or pain. 

The hope is that as we learn to feel into the unresolved parts that seem to form us, we can name them, speak them and begin to heal.

Feeling is a subtler, passive process than emotion. It is best illustrated by contrasting the concepts of emoting and feeling.

Emoting is when we cry, anger out, or verbally ventilate the energy of an inner emotional experience. Feeling, on the other hand, is the inactive process of staying present to internal emotional experience without reacting.

In recovery then, feeling is surrendering to our internal experiences of pain without judging or resisting them, and without emoting them out.

Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving³

Try to answer this questions when you are thinking clearly and have quiet time to reflect, breath and feel. Don’t overthink as you write or type your answer. It would be great to record a response in your personal journal.

• What in my life has been nagging me? It may come up as thoughts of remembrance, or in words that are said in conversation. Words that you did not expect to say, but came up anyway.

• What weight do I carry? It may be weight that you carry physically, but as you close your eyes try to see what stressors you carry, that you may have been dealing with for a long time.

• Can I give my discovery a name? It can be a silly name, so you can relate to it more gently. Or it may be described with an ugly word, (so it is ugly) and you want to give it away.

The reason I am asking the question, “What am I missing?” (It’s the question that I started this post with.) Is because I discovered this truth: The body is trying to talk to me. Something is off, something is not aligned with the spirit within me.

What is the body implying?

If my body could speak, what would it say?

As I close my eyes, I can visualize a dark-heavy weight. It is not easy to carry, but it has a name.

I can feel that my body is in pain. What is next for me? I would like to continue writing. Writing is an outlet for this beast.

I’m also going to read the article listed below: Learning to speak to the voices and emotions that come from past experiences. Then see how I can implement new ideas after I read.

Today I would like to go to the park with the kids.

I’m hopeful for my physical healing.

Today it just feels heavy.

With love, concern, and a willingness to hear—

Resources

• More about the amygdala

• Learning to Speak to the Voices and Emotions that Come From Past Experiences by Pete Walker

Definition of “Implicit”: Google Dictionary

1. photos from Pexels.com[↩]
2. Google Dictionary, Oxford Dictionary, control, definition of[↩]
3. Walker, Pete Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma, Azure Coyote, 2013. Kindle Ed. pg 237[↩]
4. Groves, Mark. “The Attachment Theory & Nervous System Connection
   with Sarah Baldwin.” Createthelove.com Mark Groves,
   Omny Studios, April 25 2022, [↩]