How I’m Showing Up for Me

For years I’ve been in a human body intentionally choosing to live for me. I find myself unique in that way. I’ve turned to spirituality to guide me and I try to listen to it’s internal whisperings but I still haven’t been completely me.

As I look at the other side of the equation, maybe being human isn’t simply living until we return to our spirit again. Maybe there is something to actually living, a well, full-intentional life, and enjoying our body.

But what if we feel stuck and trapped and we feel like we’re being squeezed, and everything inside of us is aching, then what? Do we still want to be in that body?

And then we think about dying and there is an instant fight mechanisms inside that does everything to keep us physically alive.

And if that isn’t confusing…then read it again

and again

and again

then read that scenario for a year

and then times that by 10

and then check if you are crazy? (I feel crazy)

I’ve lived this way for a decade and I think I’m a highly functioning crazy. So that is why I want to start writing. I want to use my body, and discover its voice. It might be a bit wobbly, but how do I find authentic me, if I don’t start listening and practicing.

I have a voice. I have a body. I value what I have to say. I love me. I love that I am not having to prove anything. I love my personality. I love how deep I think. Often I don’t stand out in a crowd, it’s because I’m thinking. I’m trying I’m loving, I’m living authentically. And that’s enough for me.