Connection at Christmas Time

The day after Thanksgiving in 2021, I had an experience—a quick exchange in a parking lot—that helped me return to a space of compassion and connectedness.

I was sitting in the passenger seat outside a small grocery store on a cloudy winter afternoon. It was my turn to stay in the car with the baby, who was asleep in her car seat. As I waited in the compact parking lot, a middle-aged woman approached and tapped on my window.

My first thought was that she would ask us to move our car because we had parked too close, or tell me something had fallen from the back door. It was that familiar subconscious reaction, the internal dialogue of “you’re in the way” or “someone needs something.”

As I opened the door, she looked down at me and said something unexpected: “I just wanted to say how excited I am for your family to decorate your Christmas tree today!” She had spotted the evergreen fir tied to our Subaru’s roof. Her eyes sparkled with memories of bringing fresh trees home to her own young children years ago.

That kind exchange was a simple confirming experience that I had been seen. Her few words reminded me that these magical years with young children wouldn’t last long.

I’ve learned so much from Sarah Baldwin on Instagram, who helped me put a name to these disconfirming experiences that were previously part of my story: You’re a burden! OR, you’re in the way!

If you’re feeling lonely or isolated, I invite you to find a cherished Christmas memory and share it with someone (in your own unique way). Sharing these memories can bring light to another person’s day while helping you reconnect with the magic from your past.

If I could thank that sweet lady in the parking lot, I would tell her what she did for me. She was a cheerleader guiding me through a difficult season of life. She reminded me that my past wounds don’t have to define how I connect with others.

Her message was a reply to my internal story that there is always something someone else needs from me. Instead her simple message still resonates:

I believe that by staying centered and intentional about connecting with my children, I can store these cherished moments in my memory bank, ready to recall them in future parking lots or during walks with friends. I also believe that we all need that sparkle of connection as we are navigating through really hard things!

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Hi, I’m Cami

I’m a mother of three, and have been making Christmas memories with my husband for 14 years (Wow, time flies)!! One of my favorite Christmas memories is when I was four and I received a homemade play kitchen set that my parents had spent weeks, during the late evenings, building and painting. It was love at first sight and I’ve been in the kitchen since I was eight. Click on the ROOTS AND FOOD section of this blog on the home page and look up some of my recipes!!